12.10.11

It's Here! (Almost)

12 October 2658 - Cambridge, UK

At last! My book on tea is finally being released this Friday. I am very excited. Think I’ll have a cup of tea to celebrate. Here is the press release:

Harvesting Tea the Victorian Way
The Rise of Tea in Victorian Great Britain and Its Social Impact
by Dr. Wendell A. Howe
University of Cambridge Press
Release date: 14 October 2658

This book is the life’s work of Dr. Wendell A. Howe, the Temporal Anthropologist for the University of Cambridge and world renowned expert on Victorian culture. For nearly fifty years, Dr. Howe has been in the past studying the tea drinking habits of our ancestors.

At the beginning of the Victorian Age, tea was a luxury for the upper classes. By the end of the era it was drunk daily by even the poorest. Tea replaced beer as the most popular beverage in Great Britain and had become an intricate part of life.

When tea replaced beer, it gave Britain a sober workforce to develop the Industrial Age. It allowed for clear-headed scientist, doctors and inventors to create the unprecedented technological advances of that age.

Tea spurred the expansion of the British Empire, as Britain tried to find new territories that could support tea plantations. She fought wars over tea. The Opium Wars came about because Great Britain had been forced into becoming a drug dealer to support her tea habit. (Not our finest hour.)

Dr. Howe reports on the Victorian Cult of Tea in excruciating detail. This all encompassing collection includes:

16,500,399 3-D holographic photos of teapots, teacups, tea kettles, tea trolleys, tea caddies, tea balls, tea cozies, tea towels, tea gowns, tea spoons, tea trays, tea chests, tea tables, tea sets, tea sieves and other tea paraphernalia, all from the Victorian Age.

Special virtual sensory application will allow you to taste and smell hundreds of teas from around the world that were available in the Victorian Age.

Over 5000 hours of virtual reality video of tea parties of the social elite, working class high teas, tea cultivation in India, songs about tea in the music halls, visits to hundreds of tea gardens, tea shops, and tea rooms from 1837 to 1901.

English Tea Party in Victorian Singapore
Highlights include: A Japanese Tea Ceremony performed by Dr. Shiro Suzuki, temporal anthropologist for the University of Tokyo; the original uncut thirty-seven hour documentary on the history of tea; and a 45 minute video on how to make the perfect cup of tea by Dr. Howe himself.

You will never look at a “cuppa” the same way again!

All this and more for only £999,995!
To be released 14 October 2658 from University of Cambridge Press
Reserve you copy now!

This book is dedicated to The United Kingdom Tea Council, Ltd.

I guarantee no photos of stuffed dead kittens having tea parties.
Victorians seemed to love those.
(These are live kittens with bibs tied on them.)

No comments: